Yesterday was awful! I felt so bad physically! I got maybe 2 hours sleep the night before, and the same the night before that. I finally got up at 5am after tossing and turning and my body was hurting. I was so nauseous. Bless his heart, Jimmy wanted to stay home with me, but he had a safety training class all day. A couple of hours later I was throwing up. I tried to be strong, but I have to say it was hard! I hate being by myself when I throw up, always have!

The medication the doctor prescribed makes me so sick to my stomach, and too, I cannot sleep! Even with the sleeping pill. Of course, insurance played a role in the type of medication, and I had to have the generic sleeping pill first. The doctor told me this might not work and it didn't. So she had to call in the brand name and medicine for my stomach. I got a little more sleep last night but it really wasn't what I needed. All in all, I've probably had 6 hours of sleep since Wednesday, until last night. I feel so tired and my body is hurting! I took some Aleeve last night and it helped a little.

I cannot imagine, to be truthful, having to take this medicine for even a week, much less possibly 4 months. I feel overwhelmed. In prayer time this morning, I prayed that I would seek the Lord's strength in my weakness. Sometimes, you know how when you get so sick, you're not even coherent enough to pray. That's the way I've felt. But I know the Bible tells me that the Holy Spirit will intercede for me with groanings on my behalf! Thank you Lord Jesus!

I guess I'm feeling down, and being physically tired does not help my emotions.

I did want to say though that I've been encouraged by the way this has all played out. First off, the Lord really laid it upon my heart to talk with my friend Joan, the P.A. back in late October or November of '08! I wrote her a letter, describing all my symptoms and asked for her advice. I sent the letter and didn't hear from her for maybe 3 weeks. I could have called and asked her, but I truly felt God holding me back from doing that and then one day she called. She said she'd just found my letter. She guessed that it came the week she had gone on a trip and didn't see it till now. She felt so bad. She referred me to a Rheumotologist! Well, I called the doctor's office and they couldn't get me in until March of '09! I made the appointment but I sure didn't think I could wait that long! I got online and looked up Rheumotologists and found one at Seton Northwest. I like the hospital, so I decided to call to see how soon I could get in. They could get me in on December 23 but with the Nurse Practitioner. I told them that was fine. I figured that would be better than waiting till March.

From the first I liked the NP, T.J. Allen. She was so kind, and she is smart! She took half my blood and ran all kinds of tests, and then called and had me set up a muscle biopsy. When they did the muscle biopsy they went ahead and did a biopsy of the rash. It came back with this finding of Dermatomyositis. (Still can't say it)! The muscle biopsy results came in this week too, and they confirm the diagnosis. It really all came about a lot faster than I had thought it would! If I had waited for the other doctor, I still wouldn't even have seen a doctor yet. As I said before, when I made my next appointment, they told me T.J. would no longer be there and I knew in that moment that becoz I relied on God's timing and was patient, HE put her in my path for just the exact time! Isn't that a blessing, from the very start? It's awesome to feel God working in your life that way.

And so, if I believe that, then I know that HE is continually working in my life, even with these bad side effects! HE's here! I just need to stay close to HIM and not separate myself from HIM, no matter what! HE won't move, but I might! I pray I don't! Pray for strength for me please. I need it!