John 15:4; 'Abide in me, and I in you.'

John 15:4,5;
'Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me. I am the vine, ye are the branches; He that abideth in me and I in hiim, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing'.

I needed to hear this Scripture today. I try to pray every day and ask my Lord to help me to stay close to Him so that He may stay close to me. Today, I need Him so. I feel bad. Plain and simple. Tomorrow I take more of the low dose chemotherapy drug. Maybe it's the reason I have not felt 'myself' this last week. I feel alone and yet I have people reaching out to me, but I don't want to talk either. Everything seems to take such an effort. Or, the big one, my emotions show. I cannot trust my emotions. I've learned this over the years. I must trust what I know to be true, and yet, my emotions do get the best of me during these times.

I'd like to make myself get up and do a couple of things that I've wanted to do at the Church, but I just can't seem to get to feeling better enough to do it. I'm just not good for nothing right now it seems.

But I'm praying every day, even into the night. I pray for my family and my friends too and I try to send out cards. I haven't been a good friend lately it seems though.

I guess I'm afraid too. Afraid of what the results will show from the CT Scan, which I still have heard nothing about. How long should these things take? It seems ridiculous to me. But I say aloud, '2 Timothy 1:7; For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind'. I truly love this verse, it covers everything for me, especially the 'sound mind'. or I'll say aloud...'I believe...oh Lord, help thou my unbelief'. I'm afraid of a lot of things, but I'm trying, really trying to put all my trust in God. In my weakness, He becomes Strong!

Thank you Lord Jesus, have mercy on me please!