It's unlike me to express my feelings as I have been doing on this blog. I consider myself to be a private person, but as I read some of the things I've written, I guess I'm not as much of private person as I'd really like to be. I guess I don't like knowing that I am showing anyone else, 'the real me'. I know that God knows me and I share intimate details with Him and it's drawn me so much closer to Him, but I'm not always comfortable showing myself to others. And yet, for some reason, here I am ... again ... trying to show myself.

I think deep down I have a desperate need to seem strong, but deep inside I feel very weak. I'd like to think that I don't need anybody, but deep inside, I know I do. I crave friendships, yet don't seem to know how to have one.

I'm hard on myself right now. I've had a bad day, a stressful day. A very hurtful day! A day in which by this moment of the night, hopelessness is rearing it's ugly head. I must rely upon the promises that I know my Father has given me. I must recite, aloud even, Scriptures that remind me of His great love for me. I must not rely on the spirit of fear that entangles my emotions and makes me forget the Word of Truth! And instead remember He gave me a spirit of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

I thank you Father that I just know You're there! I may not can physically see you, but I believe, oh how I believe! Even in the midst of my pain, You are especially there!